What I do know, is that somewhere in the brain, there is an area that recognizes 'consequences'. (I have since discovered that ADHD/ODD is a frontal lobe malfunction.) What I mean by this is: "bad action = discipline (IE:spanking/time out) = hurt feelings/pain = realization not to repeat the bad action". With an ADHD/ODD child, they process only part of that equation,IE: "bad action = discipline = hurt feelings/pain". The 'realization' part doesn't apply.
Now I'm not intimating they are slow learners by any means. Most of these kids are bright, and smarter than the average bear, with a range of intelligence that Offence Drink reaches into the 'gifted' areas. They are fiercely loyal, loving individuals, usually with a heightened sense of right and wrong, imaginative, hyper-focused (but only on things they want to do,) have boundless energy, don't see the world or society the same way we do, (which can be a good thing as they get older,) creative, excellent hand eye co-ordination, etc. (Are you confused yet?) I. could go on, but I think you get my point.
Suffice it to say that living with an ADHD/ODD child is an adventure that isn't for the faint of heart! My personal experience with my son includes school suspensions beginning in kindergarten, through and including grade 8, expulsion from a 'behavioural school' in grade 2, half days through grades 1 to 3, psychiatrists, psychologists,counselors (three separate appointments each week) doctor's appointments, specialist appointments, parenting classes, RCMP 'visits', 'Care Team' meetings, neighbourhood parent 'visits' and school parent 'visits' to list a few. (I should like to point out that some of these behaviours have subsided to a degree as my son gets older, and he is improving behaviourally. He rarely disrupts the class when he is at school, deciding now, that instead he won't do any work. One step forward, two steps back...)
I've even had a complete stranger knock on the window of my car while I was waiting for a turn arrow, so he could tell me I should speak with my child about his behaviour while driving....in my car! I was stunned! So I told this stranger that maybe he should tell my son, as I had reprimanded him until I was blue in the face, and if this man could do what I couldn't, I would eat my hat! Naturally, it didn't work!
On top of all of this comes another challenge....how to support your family. If you are fortunate enough to have someone you can rely on to help with child care, that can lessen your load. However, that doesn't always happen. In my case, (and I'm sure there are others out there as well) my son's behaviour was so erratic and at times over the top, that no one could handle him for any length of time except me.
This translated to "Stay At Home Mom". I did work part time when he was preschool age, but unfortunately that didn't work out. After I became a single parent, my son's behaviour took a nose dive, to the point that it was impossible for me to work away from the home. So...what to do? I could sit on 'the system', or actively find a way to become self sufficient. I chose the latter, however, I should also say that even though I did my best to be self sufficient, I still couldn't make enough money or commit to an away from home job for several years.
To date, I have written the first of a children's adventure series (a copy of which can be found at Lulu.com) entitled Christopher Collin and the True Okemus . I am also publishing a book dealing with life with my son, called "part-time Genius full-time Job", and manage an online community, One Small Step for Parents (link available above,) with resources, information and support for parents raising children with ADHD and its attendant disorders.
What I have written here is only a fraction of what we deal with parenting these wonderfully, charismatic (and sometimes volatile) children. The phrase "One heck of a ride!" sums up our lives as parents and teachers for these kids.
I would also like to invite other parents of ADHD/ODD children to contact me, if only to let them know they are not alone in their struggles. Hopefully this posting will raise awareness of our challenges and bring some relief to the ostracism we encounter daily.
Copyright Enelle Lamb 2008 - Please do not copy and paste this article, but feel free to post a link using this url: http://hubpages.com/hub/Living-with-an-ADHD-ODD-child
Now I'm not intimating they are slow learners by any means. Most of these kids are bright, and smarter than the average bear, with a range of intelligence that Offence Drink reaches into the 'gifted' areas. They are fiercely loyal, loving individuals, usually with a heightened sense of right and wrong, imaginative, hyper-focused (but only on things they want to do,) have boundless energy, don't see the world or society the same way we do, (which can be a good thing as they get older,) creative, excellent hand eye co-ordination, etc. (Are you confused yet?) I. could go on, but I think you get my point.
Suffice it to say that living with an ADHD/ODD child is an adventure that isn't for the faint of heart! My personal experience with my son includes school suspensions beginning in kindergarten, through and including grade 8, expulsion from a 'behavioural school' in grade 2, half days through grades 1 to 3, psychiatrists, psychologists,counselors (three separate appointments each week) doctor's appointments, specialist appointments, parenting classes, RCMP 'visits', 'Care Team' meetings, neighbourhood parent 'visits' and school parent 'visits' to list a few. (I should like to point out that some of these behaviours have subsided to a degree as my son gets older, and he is improving behaviourally. He rarely disrupts the class when he is at school, deciding now, that instead he won't do any work. One step forward, two steps back...)
I've even had a complete stranger knock on the window of my car while I was waiting for a turn arrow, so he could tell me I should speak with my child about his behaviour while driving....in my car! I was stunned! So I told this stranger that maybe he should tell my son, as I had reprimanded him until I was blue in the face, and if this man could do what I couldn't, I would eat my hat! Naturally, it didn't work!
On top of all of this comes another challenge....how to support your family. If you are fortunate enough to have someone you can rely on to help with child care, that can lessen your load. However, that doesn't always happen. In my case, (and I'm sure there are others out there as well) my son's behaviour was so erratic and at times over the top, that no one could handle him for any length of time except me.
This translated to "Stay At Home Mom". I did work part time when he was preschool age, but unfortunately that didn't work out. After I became a single parent, my son's behaviour took a nose dive, to the point that it was impossible for me to work away from the home. So...what to do? I could sit on 'the system', or actively find a way to become self sufficient. I chose the latter, however, I should also say that even though I did my best to be self sufficient, I still couldn't make enough money or commit to an away from home job for several years.
To date, I have written the first of a children's adventure series (a copy of which can be found at Lulu.com) entitled Christopher Collin and the True Okemus . I am also publishing a book dealing with life with my son, called "part-time Genius full-time Job", and manage an online community, One Small Step for Parents (link available above,) with resources, information and support for parents raising children with ADHD and its attendant disorders.
What I have written here is only a fraction of what we deal with parenting these wonderfully, charismatic (and sometimes volatile) children. The phrase "One heck of a ride!" sums up our lives as parents and teachers for these kids.
I would also like to invite other parents of ADHD/ODD children to contact me, if only to let them know they are not alone in their struggles. Hopefully this posting will raise awareness of our challenges and bring some relief to the ostracism we encounter daily.
Copyright Enelle Lamb 2008 - Please do not copy and paste this article, but feel free to post a link using this url: http://hubpages.com/hub/Living-with-an-ADHD-ODD-child